Hey!
It's weird and probably a lot of unnessesary pressure to put on myself, but I feel good about where I am at as a person and in my recovery. I feel like maybe I have turned the mystical "corner" for drug addiction - I mean, yes, the cravings/etc are all still there and obviously just delightful to deal with - but I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that light is approaching at a speed that is totally unexpected but obviously incredibly awesome.
When you are getting high, even if it doesn't seem like it, the rest of the world goes into kind of a "haze". While things like wanting to get a job, or being in a romantic relationship, or even common things like going out for a drink or going out to dinner are concerns in an abstract sense, in practicality they don't actually matter too much because hey, you want to get high, and that's that. But as I've stayed sober, the old me has finally seen a little bit of the other side - I realized what people were missing when they don't have the money to go out with friends, or to just enjoy life's every day pleasures. The reasons why you want money besides getting high. that in a real sense, there's something more to life. I'm obviously not out of the water just yet, but I feel like that there's a real opportunity here for me to bring myself out of this. Next step is working on a job, but at least that means there's room for the next step. Thanks for reading and maybe after I finally get things settled, I might be able to start posting about non personal (aka topical) stuff. But given that I still have to live with two crackheads in a one bedroom apartment, stability is a lot to ask. I'll see you guys soon.
