it's a world that dramatically alters your perceptions on the real world once you arrive back into it. people that you once considered parables to be held high now either seem petty, infantile, or just a waste - so concerned with minute, tiny things that lack importance - or so selfish, that you simply ask them to do once simple thing and they decide to take their ball and go home like a 6 year old boy. you become dramatically more intense, seeking equally intense people and activities to pour your heart into or share your heart with - yet striking out so many times that eventually you begin to quit trying. internalizing your emotions to avoid rejection due to the idea that someone so intense emotionally is "dramatic", "weird", "strange", etc.
what maybe you don't understand is the darkness, the blackness that we have seen - the coldness of the human personality where the simple fact is, no one cares about you more than drugs, or getting the next move over on you. yet you observed your ability to play along with that game - but then get taken advantage of when you do try to seek the good in a world that is almost a real-life allegory to "gotham city" - dirty, dark, mean, old and sketchy.
but now that you've seen the world through both sides of the glass, it's almost impossible to ignore. it frames your entire life; tests your every notion of what you've thought of people; lowers your patience levels to those that are considered "flakey" to almost zero.